Posted on June 04th, 2003 06:35 PM by admin

posted on our message board by Leslienyc

I am getting weary of posting advice on every thread opened by a newbie that basically asks the same question “Am I being scammed???” I know the other old hands are suffering from “advice fatigue” too. Occasionally BB wields his “clue bat”, particularly when the newbie is particularly gormless Ron (witchdoctor) offers terse to the point advice. BB’s catch phrase “Run Forrest, RUN!!” is heard. Some of the newer members are pitching in ­ “Lets make fun of the gomer!!” Newbies don’t read the archived posts. They pitch in and ask questions that an evening reading the archived posts would answer. There is a problem here though, the archived threads do contain very wide ranging advice which will cover maybe 80% of newbie queries, but you have to read a lot of threads to gain this knowledge. Most newbies don’t bother.

I have spent 3 years looking for my woman. I might have found her now. I have written to HUNDREDS of FSU women, been involved with several agencies. I have made LOTS of mistakes. I have lined Fat Yuri’s pockets. I have also learned a thing or three…..

The Fat Yuri demon manifests itself in thousands of ways. He is getting much smarter, the scams are getting slower, more sophisticated. The business plans of many agencies cover scammers trails. Many agencies have scam business practices. I could go on and on……

There is one common theme to all of this ­ MONEY.

It is as simple as that.

STAGE ONE - INTERNET MARRIAGE & DATING AGENCIES

This business has really taken off. Do a Yahoo or Google search. You get THOUSANDS of sites. Sad to say it but since I started my search back in1999, the number of scam agencies has grown exponentially. When I started out the most usual business practice was to buy addresses. Now the agencies try to “lock you in” make you spend more $$ with them.

The most obvious scam is the agency will not let you have the women’s address and telephone number. You have to use their expensive e-mail and translation service. Or match making. Or book an expensive trip. Yada, Yada, Yada…. Here is my first rule;

TABLET OF STONE 1 ­ DO NOT DO BUSINESS WITH ANY AGENCY WHICH WILL NOT LET THE LADY SEND YOU HER FULL CONTACT DETAILS

If you progress beyond a couple of exchanges of letters ask for the ladies full name, address and telephone number (or the number of a friend where you can ring her).

TABLET OF STONE 2 ­ IF THE LADY WILL NOT GIVE YOU HER FULL CONTACT DETAILS ­ RUN FORREST, RUN!!

This is so obvious! But so many newbies get caught at this point. If your woman will not give you this information she is either an internet spook, a scammer, or not interested in you. Maybe she is all three. You are wasting your time, move on.

STAGE TWO ­ WRITING AND WISH FULFILLMENT

At this stage nearly all guys start to entertain “wish fulfillment fantasies” They stare at her photos, read the love letters and begin to wish their “red-hot-kova” is won! The lady enters their dreams (and maybe their masturbation fantasies!). In this state many guys are vulnerable, they think they can buy their dreams and in the process often fill the purses of scam women. I know this is true. Been there, done that and come back to reality wearing the “humiliated” tee shirt…

Experience has taught me a few things.

TABLET OF STONE 3 ­ VERIFY YOU ARE WRITING TO A REAL WOMAN WHO IS INTERESTED IN YOU

Again this is obvious, but I have made this mistake and so do lots of other guys! If you are getting attached to a woman you MUST do two things.

1. You must verify she is who she says she is. The best way to do this is to have a gift (Flowers?) hand delivered to her home address and get photos of her receiving your gift. I think it is a good idea to have this done independently (i.e. not through the agency where you met) Newbies - If you are uncertain how to do this post a thread saying how do I send flowers to my girl in “Kiev” (insert the name of her city here). One of the services here will post a reply to your request. This will cost around $50. It is money well spent. It checks your ladies address and you get photos of her as she really is (Not the professional photos which could have been taken years ago)

2. You must talk with her on the telephone. If she speaks good English this is easy. If not organize 3 way calls with an interpreter. Newbies ­ Look in the classified ads section. Several good interpreters can help you with this. Talk with your lady, reality check ­ does she sound honest and genuine? Is she interested in you?

OK so now you know you are talking to a real person who appears to like you. Do not make the common mistake of offering her money. You cannot buy her love or affection. You can fill her purse though! (Fat Yuri says Thanks!) The next problem that arises when your “girl friend” asks for money. There is a golden rule here.

TABLET OF STONE 4 ­ NEVER SEND MONEY TO A WOMAN YOU HAVE NOT MET

This is very obvious, simple, but we get lots of newbie posts on this. Fat Yuri is getting smarter. Scams are getting more sophisticated and slow burning. The strategy of; Slowly, Slowly, Catchee Monkey! is becoming much more common.

It is this simple. If you do not send money Fat Yuri is not interested. You avoid him by obeying this rule.

TABLET OF STONE 5 ­ IF A WOMAN ASKS YOU FOR MONEY, IT’S A SCAM

I you have checked the lady out as above I will make a single exception to this. If she is using an internet café allow her $25 a month max to cover costs (exchange of 2 e-mails a week). No more.

Any other request for money is a HUGE RED FLAG.

The scammers are getting very smart. They want to have their fish securely hooked before they ask for money. The guy is vulnerable. My Natasha (insert woman’s name here) a scammer NO! (insert wish fulfillment fantasy here) It cannot be true! BUT IT IS. Period. Scammers are very inventive!

$350 for tourist visa so she can visit you. $1500 for Visa and air tickets to visit you $500 for emergency dental work. $3000 for hospital expenses to cover car accident.

Yada, Yada, Yada. The list is endless. Guys are scammed all the time. Most are so embarrassed they keep quite about it. Some post details of the scam here or on other sites. I have learnt that we train the FSU witches. We create the sharks. Sending money feeds them, causes them to breed, multiply…. DO NOT SEND MONEY.

If you get this far with your internet girl friend you are doing well. Now you just have to contain your wish fulfillment fantasies and remember this rule;

TABLET OF STONE 6 ­ YOU CANNOT FALL IN LOVE UNTIL YOU MEET

Do not fall in love with photos. Expressions of love in letters are not grounded in reality. You have to get on a plane and go and meet your lady. You have to see if this relationship is real. This brings up my next rule;

TABLET OF STONE 7 ­ PLAN A TRIP TO FSU

Sometimes “the write one, visit one” (WOVO) strategy works. There are happy endings! Other times it does not. I wrote to a teacher in Samara. Wonderful letters. I lived my wish fulfillment fantasy. I went to visit her ($3000 trip). At the first meeting the chemistry between us was negative. I never saw or spoke to her again. Four months of hopes and dreams smashed in two hours. Many other experienced guys have had this experience. This is why I favor the “Write many Visit many” (WMVM) strategy. If you use the WOVO strategy remember my final rule;

TABLET OF STONE 8 ­ ALWAYS HAVE BACK UP PLANS FOR YOUR TRIP

You have lots of choices here. Just make sure that your vacation plan does not restrict you to being with a single woman. You might hate each other! Visiting a woman in her home town is best. You can really check things out then. Meet her family and friends. If not make sure you can get rid of her if things don’t work out. Always have a back up plan to meet other women or do other things.

OK guys Moses had 10 commandments on his “Tablets of Stone” Add your ideas and thoughts. Your 2 cents. I hope this thread will become a first stop for newbies. - Leslienyc