Posted on June 04th, 2003 06:25 PM by admin
By Elena Petrova Russian Brides Cyber Guide
Secret 5 - Part 1
How to make Russian women interested in You?
Men ask me all the time "How to ensure Russian women will be interested in me?" Is there a way to get ahead of competition? Is there anything special they are looking for? What kind of photos should you send? What should you write in your first letter?
Most contacts start through correspondence. Yes, there are tours with socials, but it's a completely different story, and we'll talk about it next time.
Knowing that first impressions last, and there is no second chance to make the first impression, most men feel that their first letter will be the most important one. Yet most of them fail to get it right!
The reasons? To name a few, they are: laziness, lack of empathy, lack of creativity, lack of common sense, and following the patterns. What I would say, many men simply fail to think!
Most agencies will give you examples of "good" letters, or letter writing tips. Read them. Study them. But for your own sake, don't follow them!
If you give yourself a couple of seconds to think why, you will get it yourself - because ALL OTHER MEN WILL WRITE THE SAME LETTERS! When I was on the other side of the border, I used to wonder why most men who wrote to me were writing the same things in the same expressions. They all were "blessed to have a successful career and good life", and they all were feeling that only now they are "ready to start a family". Paragraph by paragraph they were talking about the same things, and I knew how the letter would finish when was just starting reading it. They were saying all the right things, all-important information about themselves, but my dear friends, it was S-O-O-O B-O-O-O-R-I-N-G...
Yes, that's right, women are interested what age you are, you must tell them about your height, weight and education, previous marriages and kids, what are you doing for a living etc, etc - BUT! It is MUCH more important HOW you say that. I still remember 2 letters that impressed me the most - I was smiling all the way while reading them! Yes, that's it - your letter must have a mood and a feeling, wake up imagination, be interactive and funny - it must be INTERESTING!
Of course not all of us are good in writing. But at least all of us know a couple of jokes. They say that jokes are humor of those who don't have a sense of humor, but jokes do help. You can tell the story as if it happened to you, and then say at the end "Of course, it's just a joke". Just don't use "he-he" and "smiles" - in Russia jokes are told with a stone-like face. It's a bad taste to laugh at your own jokes; and Russians find background laugh in sitcoms interrupting and stupid. I think in western terms you can call Russian type of humor very dry.
Secret 5 - Part 2
How to make Russian women interested in You?
OK, this was a bit out of the topic. What I was trying to say, reading your letter must be like reading a story, not an annual report. Try to think what is interesting and exciting about your life, or places where have you been, or whatever you believe is worth mentioning. If a subject is just plain boring, you can mix it with something else. Again, it's how you say it what matters. For example: "I am 38, 180 cm, 85 kg, brown hair, blue eyes, never married, no kids, 2 university degrees (computers and politics), full time job (supervisor at engineering company), nice house, 3 dogs, non-smoker, non-drinker - do you think there is something else in the questionnaire that I forgot to mention?"
Yes, the subject of looking for a life partner is a serious one, and you are not a clown. Russians say, "It's grain of joke in every joke, the rest is pure truth". Supply her with correct valuable information about yourself, but make it entertaining.
Every woman loves to feel special, and will appreciate if you got out of your way to please her. A couple of compliments on her photo that will show her you are talking about HER photo not somebody else's; some information you gained about her city; spelling her name in Russian (you can find the list of most popular Russian female names and different spellings at http://www.womenrussia.com/rusnames.htm) - those little things can separate you from the crowd. Do not hesitate to contact the woman again if she did not respond to the first message. Send another one. A third one. Ask to respond, and say that you are truly interested in her. Russian women respect insistent men!
About photos - agencies will tell you that the best is to send a professional picture in suit and tie. This works all right, but I would also advise to add a non-professional picture of you doing something fun, or simply made at your home. This is very interesting for Russian women - what your home looks like. You know, many believe that men are not capable of taking care of themselves (basing on habits of Russian men), and seeing your nice, tidy and well furnished house on the photo will score you a couple of points. Sending more than 2-3 photos with the first letter can create an impression of selfishness, and of course if you send more than 1 photo, they must be very different. Nothing is more impressive than change. Smoking and jeans, for example. And without doubt, you must like your photos. If you think about a picture, "It's more or less OK", rather send it to your mother but not to a prospective bride.
What else can add to your score? Clear vision of the future of your relationship. What if you decide you are right for each other? Are you planning to visit her country? When? Do you expect your future wife to work or stay at home, or she can decide for herself? Will you be able to provide for the family? Do you want to have children? (By the way, the question about children will also indirectly inform the lady that you are sexually healthy. Many wonder if everything's OK with a man of 38 years old that never been married - in Russia it's a sign of disorder.)
Very good idea is to translate your first letter to Russian. Does not matter if a woman indicated that she speaks English, she will still struggle with translation. What is better, to read a story or to translate a story? When would you enjoy it more? Use only a human translator. Software translation is horrible. It is a useful tool, but it's good only as means to understand the content, not to make an impression. If you don't believe me, try to translate your letter to Russian, and then back to English using the same software. I promise you will be shocked. Sometimes it simply does not make sense!
Well, and the very last advice. Do not try to impress. Trying to impress makes very poor impression. If there is something really special - you have been the best student of the year, or the youngest CEO of your company ever - say about it in the way that shows you don't take it too seriously. "I was awarded as the best student of the year, you know, my mother still keeps this diploma. She put it in a beautiful frame, and it fits her pink walls very nicely." Don't worry, she will get the message.