Posted on June 04th, 2003 06:59 PM by admin
Written by Weston Rogers webmaster of ABC's of Russian Women
Upon first meeting the Russian women I had corresponded with, the initial characteristic that most impressed me was their feminine nature. Ask any man in America what feminine means to him and you will assuredly receive different answers. Therefore, perhaps it is appropriate at this juncture to define feminine. The Random House dictionary defines feminine as, like a woman; weak; gentle; effeminate; womanish. Further, the two key words used to define effeminate are softness and delicate. With the exception of Tatyana, the Russian women I met were the epitome of this definition. The importance of recognizing and supporting your Russian friend's feminine nature cannot be emphasized enough. For, as discussed in the above topics, Russian women are disenchanted with the typical Russian man because they have difficulty expressing their feminine nature.
So, how do you engender your Russian friend's feminine nature? Just exercise good manners. Be truthful with yourself and if you need a little brushing up, simply buy a book on manners or take a continuing education class. Besides common manners, here are a few helpful suggestions:
Be sure to take quality gifts of women's clothing (elastic waistbands to help with sizing). Quality clothing serves to heighten a Russian women's self-esteem and brings an inner joy to an outwardly bleak life. After you return to America, your Russian fiancee will take great joy in impressing her friends and co-workers with her foreign clothes. Young Russian women place a great importance on their outward appearance, for it directly relates to their social status. Fashionable clothing was frowned upon by the government pre-perestroika, so now Russian women revel in the ability to wear fashionable clothing every day.
To ensure a big hit with your Russian friend, go shopping and allow her to purchase cosmetics. I allowed Natasha the simple purchase of matching nail polish and lipstick and she was overjoyed.
When walking in public, always extend your arm that she may lock arms with you. Don't try to hold her hand, its simply not the custom as in America.
Always take flowers upon first meeting your Russian friend. This courtship custom cannot be over emphasized, for flowers are expected and their absence is viewed as an insult. Such absence indicates you really do not care about the woman or perhaps think she is cheap. Just do it! Also, tradition states the flowers should not be yellow and the number of stems should be odd-numbered.
In a courtship situation, Russian women do not want to impose upon the man. Rather the woman wants the man to perceive her needs and respond without hesitation. Such action demonstrates that the man is closely watching, thinking and caring about the woman - allowing her to abandon dominant behavior and reveal the feminine nature within. I will never forget the circumstances whereby I first learned Russian women do not want to be imposing with their man (Love Letters... From Russia Chapter 3, June 20, 1992).
It is still an accepted Russian custom to ask the woman's parents for her hand in marriage. If geographic distance is a problem, consider a phone call. Your fiancee may not think this is important or even want you to ask her parents, but at least make the offer. Remember, if the woman still lives with her parents, you do not want to offend them by failing to respect a Russian custom.
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